And The Heart is Right

In 6 days, I will be starting a new job. Some people, friends from my previous company, said that it was an emotional decision, that I should give it a second thought before decide to quit. I wasn’t sure my self back then. I did have an indecisive moment for a couple of weeks. It only now, almost two months after I made the decision, I can tell for sure that it wasn’t an emotional decision. What I made is simply listening and following my heart, and trust that all will be fine.

In January, I was asked to work on a project that I wasn’t feel to take. So strong the feeling that I once considered to submit my resignation letter that day. It was a project that I was working 5 years ago, with the same customer. Doing it now all over again would be like throwing my career 5 years back, something that I really can’t take in any rightful thought.

Not long after that, I got a job offer from another company. It was incidental. The HR of this company called me, asking if i would be interested to join them, without even asking for my CV. I said “Why not?” so I started the interview process and got an offer. This company is bigger, and doing more kind of business. It would be a place people will proud to work at, and I was offered promotions with better benefits. All is perfect, except for one thing: the office is much further from my home. This means that i will spend more significant amount of time to commute. And this company is notorious for long working hour. All of this means that I will have less time with my family.

I was torn between spending more time with my family, or to get out of the project. I talked to my manager about the project, to which he replied that my assignment will only be temporary. Something tells me that it might not be true, that I will be stuck in the project unless I quit. To stay in this company will means that I woke up in the morning for months to come, asking myself why I’m doing all this. The only purpose is to earn a living, to put food on the table. I have no purpose on doing the project. I might even regret myself not to try another chance at another company.

If I decide to stay, the project will slowly kill my soul by draining my energy. And without any passion and purpose to recharge, it will happen in no time. I feel it once already. I will have more time with my family, but without any soul, without energy left for my family. It will be time without quality. At that moment, I know what is right, and submit my resignation letter.

During my 2 weeks break, it become clearer that my decision to leave is right. I was told a lot of escalation to get my friend, a singaporean, to stay in the project. The same thing will happen to me if I decided to stay. They face some challenge with my friend, because he is a foreigner, and our Singapore office want him back. But if I stay, they will have no problem putting me back in the project.

Somehow the heart has already know. It can see the invisible, hear the right message among the noise. For example, two days before I submitted my resignation letter, I asked my boss about my future career in this company. He told me a lot of things, overseas assignment, another project, and so on. It sounds promising, but something inside my heart says that it is all wrong. It is only today that I can tell what is wrong. It was all text book answer, the kind that you can find in manager for dummies book if they really sell it. And the heart knew it already back then.

Do listen to your heart, and most of the time, it is correct. It knows already, seeing and hearing the fact far before the brain can process.

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